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Joke of the Day

"i guess my favorite book would haveta be ""being and nothingness""... i was halfway done before i even started reading."

"I like it when I open a document and my monitor says WORD and I'm like YO."

"Whats 9+10 9+10=21-2=19"

"What do you call a carpenter who needs fewer nails? Jesus"

"My grandfather died peacefully and in his sleep but the kids on his bus were screaming."

"My high must be wearing off, because that cop car that pulled me over 20 minutes ago is starting to look like a house with Christmas lights."

"What's the difference between you and a brick? Bricks can get laid."

"Guys that try and pick up girls on Facebook are pathetic.. Girls, if you agree message me your number so we can talk about it."

"Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9? Because... Windows 7 8 9."

"A woman visits an astrologer Astrologer: Would you like me to tell you your husband's future? Woman: No you tell me his past, I'll decide his future."