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Joke of the Day

"Gay Bartender What did the gay bartender say to his new customer? ""Want me to help push in your stool?"""

"Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Friday."

"If the tongue is a muscle I want your pussy to be my gym"

"WHAT ARE THOSE???? /u/doubledickdude - They're my cocks."

"I cheated a guy in poker so he burnt down my house. I guess you could say it was a conflagration"

"Knock Knock Who's there? IP IP Who Haha...that's nice r/eli5 it's funny because it sounds like I poo"

"Why did the duck get a red card? For fowl play."

"Why did Kim Jong Un's father go to hospital? He was Kim Jong Il"

"Oh hey, sorry I accidentally rolled out of your bed, across your floor, down the stairs, out the door, into my car and back in my own bed."

"You can't spell anal rash without Sarah Palin."