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Joke of the Day

"Gay Bartender What did the gay bartender say to his new customer? ""Want me to help push in your stool?"""

"I think I just had my first orgasm? I was shaking and my legs were shaking and everything. Then I just realized that wasn't a orgasm, ""THAT WAS A EARTHQUAKE!"" :'("

"To err is human To arrrgh is pirate"

"How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters? Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer."

"I got busted visiting Texas. For trying to smuggle in books. Luckily, I got off on a technicality. No one could prove they were books."

"So i was having sex with another man the other day... And he tried to kiss me after. Pfffff, what a faggot."

"What did the blind man say when he walked passed the fish aisle in the supermarket? Good morning, ladies."

"If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging."

"I always thought 007 had split personality disorder... When he's spying: James Bond. When he's chasing tail: James Boned."

"that I like being lazy more..."