81553

Joke of the Day

"Its the little things that bring the most joy - Like sneaking a home pregnancy test in the shopping cart of a mom/daughter combo & observing"

"Whats the difference between a mosquito and a hooker? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking."

"FUN AT THE PARK Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching."

"[at wine tasting] Hmm yes, very good. a slight smokey undertone. ""Sir, you just put your cigarette in your wine"" Strong smokey undertone"

"When I search Canadian cats in Google... It just gives me a bunch of lynx."

"A woman in labour is screaming at her husband. He says ""Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to put it in your ass."" ""But Nooo, u thought THAT MIGHT HURT!"""

"Yeah, cigarettes make you cool but they also take years off your life. Those are just two benefits."

"Real person: Do you have Twitter? I'll follow you! Me: Nope, sorry. Don't have a phone or a computer. Or a microwave. Hard times and all.."

"Did you know they're killing off a main character in my little pony? There's no more apple jack."

"Why do porn directors prefer real Christmas trees? Because they don't need fluffing."