81502

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!"

"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a marathon full of feminists? The tribe of pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts."

"What's worse than a puppy nailed to a tree? A puppy nailed to 7 trees."

"[Record Shop] Me: Hi, have you got anything by the Doors? Shopkeeper: No, we have to keep all exits clear in case of emergencies."

"She told me to give her nine inches and to make it hurt... So i fucked her three times and punched her in the gut."

"What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms or legs? Bob."

"I don't care about following a 'funny' celebrity from tv on Twitter-instead I look up who writes for their show then follow that person."

"Why are women's feet smaller than men's? So they can stand closer to the sink."

"The best part of being a supervillain is the freedom to laugh maniacally at all times"

"Is it good to drink witch's brew? Yes it's very newt tricious!"