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Joke of the Day

"""When you wish upon a star, it takes trillions of years for the wish to get there, and by that stage you're dead."" - Neil deGrasse Tyson."

"What do you call a barking dog riding the subway? a sub-woofer!!!"

"My grandfather died in the holocaust... He fell of a guard tower."

"I heard Oscar Pistorius might walk at the end of the trial It's a miracle."

"Shit. Gotta huge job interview tomorrow and I have no clue where I put my prom dress"

"My girlfriend and I were making out on the sofa. Her: Ok let's take this upstairs. Me: Alright. You lift one end and I'll get the other"

"Ironically, I only know of one person with the name Common."

"what do you call it when 3 muppets have sex together? - Mena Menage a trois"

"How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb? I thought 12, but the basements still dark."

"A Clock wrote a book Critics say its about time"