138191

Joke of the Day

"Ironically, I only know of one person with the name Common."

"My daughter asked me if it was illegal to be blind which tells me I didn't explain ""legally blind"" very well."

"Success is just like being pregnant."

"Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."

"What's a young monkey's favorite time of the school day? Rhesus."

"Can you believe my fucking neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning?! 2:30am! Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums..."

"I'll think of a good herb joke... When I have some thyme"

"""Hot damn!"" - the Nazi's probably after their dams were destroyed. I don't know; I'm not a historian. It's just an educated guess."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the food before it was cool..."

"Why did the Geometry major marry a Brit? Because she was a cute angle."