193164

Joke of the Day

"[creates anti aging pill] Reporter: wow imagine all the human applications this can have *I scribble out 'give to puppies'* Yeah absolutely"

"What was the suicide bomber greeted by in the afterlife? A group of 40 other suicide bombers."

"I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller."

"Q: Why did the comedian do time? A: Is it cause his jokes killed? (Nope, one in ten dead)"

"I wish there was a way to tell if this guy is being nice to me because he likes me or if it's just because he's Canadian."

"One day, I made instant coffee in my microwave. I nearly went back in time. - Steven Wright"

"In Gaza Strip... ...Kykes gas you!"

"Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself."

"Karma is like a rubber-band...it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face!"

"[love making] Her: [leans in] ""do that thing you know I like."" [i cease to exist] Her: ""yeah baby."""