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Joke of the Day
"""I'll teach you the gropes."" -perverted mentor"
Next Joke
"I don't like blind jokes... I just don't see the humor in them"
"A haunted house where they make you look at your checking account balance."
"I hanged myself for being fat The rope broke"
"Me: ... Dog: ... Me: ... Dog: ... Me: .. Dog: .. Me: ... Dog: .. Me: .. Dog: .. Me: ... Dog: ... (Women, take note *ahem* Man's best friend)"
"If it wasn't for my incredible willpower, I would be exercising right now."
"Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer."
"""Because Fuck you, that's why!"" is a perfectly legitimate response to any question."
"A doctor and his patient **Doctor**: After the operation, you'll be a new man. **Patient**: Could you send the bill to the old man?"
"If you're going to call people who aren't yet born ""the unborn"" then you have to call people who aren't yet dead ""the undead"""