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Joke of the Day

"My can of whoop ass seems to have expired."

"Most people don't act stupid it's the real thing."

"In my local park there are three holes in the ground... Well, well, well."

"If ""Clue"" came out in 2015, there'd be a fourth ending where the killer is gluten."

"Do bouncers get paid in toothpicks or are they a part of their uniform, or what exactly is the deal here?"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black"

"What does a haunted hamburger say? MooooOOOoooOoo"

"I might invent a new beer, call it ""Occasionally"". When people ask if I drink, I can say I drink Occasionally' this way they won't think i'm an alcoholic."

"I have an EpiPen... My friend gave it to me as he was dying...It seemed pretty important to him that I have it, I'll cherish it always. edit: grammar"

"I had a few too many beers at an art exhibition and threw up all over the floor. Someone offered me three grand for it."