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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend, concerned, asked me if I'm an alcoholic. I said ""Of course not sweetie."" ""Alcoholics go to meetings."""

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs Now we have no money, no hope, or jobs."

"Apparently saying, ""Oh, I just came to watch"" makes everyone else uncomfortable in the Pilates class."

"What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights? A chicken"

"A code tester walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders ten beers. Orders 2.15 billion beers. Orders -1 beers. Orders a nothing. Orders a cat. Tries to leave without paying."

"A hipster so cool he is reading a tree"

"I accidentally got my SO pregnant... I totally pulled a Jeb Bush."

"Two fish were in a tank... One says to the other: you shoot, I'll drive"

"How to Get There by Ridya Bike"

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get its tiny legs apart?"