81131

Joke of the Day

"I tried to fix my shovel today, but I just couldn't handle it."

"How can you tell if something is clickbait?"

"According to the Bible, what's Noah's favorite fruit? Pears."

"Roses are red, Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's To get to the other side"

"Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out an important part of human anatomy that is more useful when it is erect. Er... SPINE?"

"As I've gotten older, my answer to any problem, more and more, is ""burn it down""."

"I just had a baby! It was delicious."

"A fat woman just served me at McDonalds... ... and said ""Sorry about the wait"". I replied and said ""Don't worry, you'll lose it eventually""."

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, do feminists still try to blame it on the patriarchy?"

"How can my wife's hands not open a jar of pickles in the day, but become superhuman vice-grips at night when I want some covers?"