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Joke of the Day

"My wife asked me today if I would ever cheat on her. I replied, ""Who else would I cheat on?"""

"The four stages of life: 1. You believe in Santa 2. You don't believe in Santa 3. You dress up like Santa 4. You look like Santa"

"I've been told I have a certain ineffable quality. But ladies, I think you'll find I'm totally effable if you drink enough beer."

"My week is just five days of wishing I had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing I had something to do."

"What's Gordon Ramsay's favorite movie? IT'S FUCKING FROZEN"

"A bar walks into a bar Haha I have no idea where I was going with this please don't be mean I thought it was going to be funny."

"Relationship threats: teens: i'll cheat on you 20's: i'll go to the bar with my boys 30's: I'm gonna watch all of our shows without you"

"I just found out that those cows from the Chick-Fil-A commercials teach black people how to text."

"I like my pork butts like I like my women Slathered in BBQ sauce, stuffed in a pot, and then cut up when the lid doesn't fit right."

"I'm torn on what i really think about masturbation. on one hand it feels good."