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Joke of the Day

"I hate when my cat brings in a dead bird and I have to pretend I enjoy eating it so I don't hurt his feelings"

"what's brown and goes through walls? a poopy spooky"

"What do you call a zombie musician? A decomposer."

"Everybody says Australians are rednecks learn already... **...it's actually from latin word Australis which means Southern...** *Oops*"

"I wanted to study metallurgy at University But I didn't get the grades"

"How many Karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? [repost] I don't care. I'm just doing this for the upvotes, but I think the other guy said ten... or 500... something like that."

"Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion."

"There are two fish in a tank... ...and one says to the other, ""how do we drive this thing?"""

"If I could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, I would choose alive."

"American political party symbols are spot on... Trump is the elephant in the room, and the DNC is full of jackasses!"