80901

Joke of the Day

"75% of parenting is taking their keys to punish them And giving them back because they're driving you crazy"

"Jokes about the handicapped aren't funny. They're lame."

"[interrogation] ""How do u kno the deceased?"" I was his drug dealer. ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs."

"Kids claim to be such big fans of Mickey Mouse, but you don't see them with an icechest full of Capri Sun tailgating for Disney On Ice."

"What did the fish scream when its tank cracked? ""Dam-it!"""

"I had to quit my job as a refurbished dildo salesman due to the recent influx of gay customers. Things have been pretty shitty lately."

"Which fish can perform operations ? A Sturgeon !"

"What is long, white, and very sticky? The coming of the Lord!"

"Just ate at a Japanese restaurant and the entire staff was Hispanic. I don't know what is real anymore!"

"Ouch! I stubbed my butt hole..."