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Joke of the Day

"I just installed a marijuana app It has kush notifications."

"The main lumberjack at my company does some minor computer hacking in his spare time... ...he's our key logger."

"Teacher: Give me three reasons why the world is round Pupil: Well my dad says so my mum says so and you say so !"

"Knock KNOCK Who's there? Orange Orange who? ORANGE YOU HAPPY I DIDN'T SAY ORANGE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . v v TLDR I'm dead on the inside"

"What's a vampire's favorite dance? The Fang Tango."

"""Come as you are. As you were. As I want you to be."" ~ Kurt Cobain, confusing party coordinator"

"Me: let's try to catch snowflakes on our tongues! Wife: but we're inside.?. Me: shhhh, just close your eyes."

"I've just started an online dating site for Siamese twins. It's called Connect 4."

"My wife said, compared to a lot of girls out here, that I'm lucky to have her. I said ""Yeah? Maybe, but I'll do my own research thank you""."

"The new football stadium can hold more than 66,000 fans... Sounds pretty cold and windy to me."