80830
Joke of the Day
"When an intoxicated person is blabbering, 60% of whatever he/she says is true."
Next Joke
"I can be the Taco Beast... ...If you're my Taco Belle!"
"[Looking at ultrasound monitor with my wife] Wife: Look at it's little heart beating! Isn't it amazing... Me: It looks like a crossiant"
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
"Man goes to a burger stand and asks for an Oasis burger The vendor asks what an Oasis burger is. You get a roll with it."
"What do you call a guy who fucks himself? [Ethan Hawke](http://i.imgur.com/tXrW7HU.jpg)."
"So what DID the reddit admins said to the mods?"
"Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black."
"Never tip a cow more than 15%."
"Batman V Superman 2: Both men agree their last battle was too destructive They settle their differences by playing Uno Loser leaves earth"