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Joke of the Day

"What's it called when you have sex early in the day after a funeral? Mourning Sex."

"Son just threatened to poke me in the 'belly butthole"". Pretty sure he meant belly button, but I'm on guard just in case."

"Having sex with people that have low IQs is f*cking stupid"

"Is there a hand sanitizer out there that can kill the 0.01% germ?"

"What's the similarity between Bill Cosby and Santa have in common? They both come when you're asleep."

"Everyone is saying 9/11 was a joke, it wasn't. It's a social experiment."

"If I was a candle... ...and somebody dumped a bucket of water on me, I'd be quite put out."

"[meeting at round table] ""King Arthur, if I may?"" ""Go ahead."" ""Castles but bouncier."" ""Bouncy castles?"" ""But you gotta take your shoes off."""

"Why was Jimmy sad? Cause Jimmy had a frog stapled to his face."

"I was at the inventor of the USB stick's funeral yesterday..... They lowered his coffin into the ground, then raised it back up, turned it around, and lowered it back down again."