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Joke of the Day
"If I was a candle... ...and somebody dumped a bucket of water on me, I'd be quite put out."
Next Joke
"Therapist: We must remove our masks and express our true selves Yoga instructor: True Nutritionist: So wise Raccoon: This is bullshit, Alan"
"Why did the German cross the road? To get to the Reich side"
"*hires sky writer to propose to psychic girlfriend* WILL YOU MARRY ME *2nd planes flies by 5 seconds later* HELL NO"
"If there's ever a zombie outbreak, it should happen in Las Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."
"Interviewer: ""So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" Me: ""My biggest weakness? Probably not listening properly."""
"Hot Topic was having a huge sale Everyone panicked at the discount."
"What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary? I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out"
"My wife enrolled in a North Korean cooking school 2 years ago. ""She must cook great Asian food by now."" ""Actually, they've only just covered the life and teachings of Kim Jong-il."""
"What is the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? Your mom cant take a joke."