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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile the other day. I thought, wow, that's a big word for an 8 year old."

"I heard there was an amber alert! I was like ""Shit Terrorist attack!But then my friend told it meant that some kid had gone missing. I was like ""Oh thank god!"""

"Bill Cosby is going to have a new show Women Say the Darndest Things"

"Have you heard the one about the deaf guy? He hasn't either."

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says ""we dont serve your kind."" The mushroom replies ""but im a fungi!"

"i'm really nervous about getting my girlfriend's pregnancy results back... and i'm not even the one who'll have to raise the baby alone!"

"There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't"

"I've spent the better part of my day trying to figure out why ""mustache"" & ""headache"" don't rhyme."

"A keytar walks into a bar... And the barkeeper tells him: 'Get lost, we don't serve your type in here...' 'Why not?' ask the instrument. 'Well, you're obviously off your rocker.'"

"Did you hear about the computer that ate an entire hamburger in one go? It was a megabyte."