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Joke of the Day

"Gonna hand out job applications to teenage trick-or-treaters who ring my doorbell."

"All these people on FB posting pics of their kids makes feel so blessed...I don't have ugly children."

"Just write any numbers in the sudoku boxes. It doesn't matter. We're all gonna die."

"What's the difference between light and hard? I can sleep with a light on."

"Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled? It didn't protect him from harmful rays Edit: Steve Irwin was the man. RIP"

"I think I could start a pretty successful company that makes nothing but excuses."

"""Where was you at?"" I was probably not skipping English class."

"I was sexually assaulted by a ghost. Didn't see it cuming."

"Today is the best day to propose to your girl... If she accept, its your luck! If not, tell her its April fools!"

"How does Super Mario contact his dead brother? Using a Luigi board!"