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Joke of the Day
"I was out shopping today; guess who asked about you?! Nobody."
Next Joke
"Go to a Mexican restaurant, get a table for two, tell them you're waiting for your date & then eat free chips & salsa for 7 years."
"Why should you never bet on Germany at the Olympics? They have the worst track record for finishing a race."
"This day needs cyanide."
"What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings"
"If I were British these tweets would be worth 1.61 times as much."
"Phoned up the local gym I phoned up the local gym and asked them if they could teach me the splits. They asked me how flexible I was. I said I can't make Tuesdays."
"Blondes What is a blondes favourite nursery rhyme? Humpme Dumpme."
"What is a trailer park's favorite game? Twister"
"Went to the opticians today leaving with them telling me my eye sight is better than 20/20. So when I say you look like a C*NT, i think i know what i'm talking about."