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Joke of the Day

"Whatever doesn't kill you TRIED TO KILL YOU!"

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"If I had a brewery I would make an alcoholic drink called ""Responsibly"". I wouldn't even have to pay for advertising."
"Sex with 3 people... Sex with 3 people is called a threesome. Sex with 2 people is called a twosome. That explains why they call you handsome."
"Remember when you were a kid and you used to run through the sprinklers at your uncle's farm and he'd dry you off with his strong arms?"
"Whenever someone says to me ""You look so familiar, where do I know you from?"" I say, ""Do you watch porn?"""
"What do you call some one with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."
"My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got fired because I couldn't concentrate."
"What do you call a cow who just gave birth? Decalfeinated"
"The Jonestown cult survivor was never any good at jokes. He always missed the punchline."
"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb ? 1 or 2 ? 1... or 2..."