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Joke of the Day

"How did we go from crappy gas station coffee to ""Yes I'll pay $7 for you to put that in a cup for me""?"

"[trial] Judge: how do you plead? ""not guilty"" J: but you've admitted to dropping an anvil on him. ""he asked me to make him a pancake"""

"Running your mouth is not cardio."

"What has 9 arms, 7 legs, 4 heads, and 13 feet? The finish line of the Boston Marathon."

"*knocks on bathroom stall wall* Forgive me father, for I have sinned. ""Huh? What?"" It's been 3 days since my last- [sound of diarrhea]"

"south park buzz bazinga punk!"

"Man gets his knob out at the supermarket Clerk sees it and says, ""You're in the wrong place, the locksmith's is next door."""

"I named my penis pony... ..because it's the smaller version of what you really wanted and you only get a ride if you're under 12."

"Two married man talking.. 1st man: Im so lucky, my wife is an angel. 2nd man: Good for you! Mine's still alive."

"*posts picture of the saddest meal of all time, a big plate of dry meat and weirdly burnt vegetables* it's so sad that some guys can't cook."