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Joke of the Day

"*knocks on bathroom stall wall* Forgive me father, for I have sinned. ""Huh? What?"" It's been 3 days since my last- [sound of diarrhea]"

"Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge."

"""I think I have split personalities"", ......Said Steve, being frank."

"Life is a lot like toilet paper. You're either on a roll.....or you're taking shit from some asshole."

"Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?"

"I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist."

"Do lesbians ever rock and paper?"

"I had a lovely threesome with my girl friend and her twin He is a lovely chap"

"What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite animal? Well, it was cats, originally, but then he was turned to the dog side."

"My dick was once in the Guinness book of World Records. Then the librarian told me to take it out."