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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] My favorite sex position is the JFK... I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

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"TIL Micheal Bay's 'Pearl Harbour' made almost $ 200 million... ...I thought that it bombed! [re-worded Greg Proops joke from DLM]"
"Sponsor a Child I was thinking of sponsoring a child in Africa. But him being so far away, how could I be sure he actually completed the Fun Run?"
"Children's laughter can be a wonderful thing Unless its 2AM and you don't have any kids."
"Heard a good joke about Hillary Clinton's email scandal TOP SECRET"
"Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps? New Jersey got to choose first"
"Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!"
"Why did the vampire feel tired after dinner? All the blood had rushed to his stomach."
"A small tattoo I'd hate to be a midget into tattoos...only get half the canvas space"
"Why can't American engineers design linear actuators? Because they always try to maximize the degrees of freedom."