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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] My favorite sex position is the JFK... I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"Teacher: What can we do to stop polluting our waters ? Pupil: Stop taking baths ?"

"If you wake up on Christmas morning with a bad taste in your mouth Remember, Santa only comes around once a year to empty his sack."

"(whispering): Siri, whose bed am I in?"

"""If Trump wins I'm moving to Canada"" So people fleeing their country from political crisis isn't OK unless it's the USA..."

"Man walks into a bar with a giraffe The giraffe goes to sleep on the floor. The bartender says, ""Aye, what's that lyin' there?"" The man says, ""It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"""

"Starcraft: Why did the marine vote for the dragoon? He was Protoss"

"What do you call a stolen Tesla Car? Edison."

"I'm thinking about bottling my own urine and selling it. I'll call it ""I Can't Believe It's Not Bud Light."""

"I tossed a quarter at my girlfriend... ""Ouch, that hit me in the head!"" I look back and reply, ""good, maybe that'll knock some cents into you"" I'll see myself out."