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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking about bottling my own urine and selling it. I'll call it ""I Can't Believe It's Not Bud Light."""

"RUSSELL: I told you that cheese wasn't for you ME: [bitterly, mousetraps on both hands] Nothing's ever for me, is it Russell"

"Salt movie review Gave me hypertension, 16/10."

"I am a feminist. Unless you tell me to go and bring you a sandwich. I'm also a waitress."

"Australian Cricket Team"

"I suddenly met a man who had a problem with premature ejaculation. He just came out of nowhere."

"I bet you one dollar I can touch your tit without touching your clothes fuck it, it's just one dollar"

"Sometimes I feel like a doctor stuck studying X-rays to gauge the health impacts of excessive sausage eating. I tend to see the wurst in people."

"Every time you push the potato button on your microwave, a potato appears in someone else's microwave."

"Anal Lube? More like Anal *Noob*"