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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gay person in a wheelchair chair? Rollaids"

"What happened to Ed's girlfriend? Sheeran"

"What did Hannibal Lecter say to the philosophy professor after the lecture? I can smell your Kant."

"How did King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even."

"Priest: Marriage lasts until death. You're not married in heaven. Me: Why not? Wife: Then we'd be in hell."

"I asked a friend of mine who cheats on his spouse how he sleeps at night. He responded ""With your wife, John"""

"What is the speciality of Alan Turing? He was homogeneous"

"My ex-girlfriend and I both went blind before we broke up. After that, we just couldn't see each other anymore."

"[funeral] WIDOW: ii just cant believe he's gone ME: hey [putting my hand on her shoulder] u parked ur car directly behind mine so im stuck"

"As I stood under the running water in the shower I couldn't help but think of those poor, thirsty kids in Africa. It made me cum faster."