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Joke of the Day

"You are riding a horse. There is a giraffe beside you and a lion chasing you. What do you do? You get your drunk ass off the carousel. Edit: *off Thanks captain."

"What do you call somebody who is content being average sized? A happy medium."

"""Why was the Amish girl excommunicated ? Too Mennonite."" - Hitchens"

"What is the best thing about dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere."

"Even with 4 million subscribers, /r/jokes sounds like a big empty hall. I can hear jokes echoing again and again."

"Ever notice how white women over 40 can't dance without clapping?"

"I want to buy a Tesla Coil. Shocking, I know... But I feel really energetic around them."

"Less well known than Ernest Hemingway's ""A Farewell to Arms""... is his sequel, ""Oh Hello Arms I Didn't Think I'd See You Again"""

"Why is yellow afraid of red? Because red blue green."

"One of my co-workers didn't come in today because apparently he's constipated. What a shit excuse."