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Joke of the Day

"how do you know you are a real redneck? you let your 12yr old daughter smoke in front of her kids."

"I like to show my girlfriend who's boss in our house by holding a mirror up to her face."

"The person sleeping next to you is statistically more likely to murder you than any other person on the entire planet. Do the dishes."

"What are the three rings of marriage? The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and then the suffering"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take me a while to get hard, i just got laid by a chick."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo? I've never had a garbanzo on my face."

"What do you call a lesbian that turned straight A hasbien"

"I haven't had anything to eat all year. It's 12:01 January 1st where I am"

"Someday, my kids will say ""daddy, wanna hear a cool story"" and it will actually be followed by the telling of a cool story."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *SLURP*"