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Joke of the Day

"Hey, ancient Egyptians! I'm eating popcorn that I cooked inside a bag in under a minute. Fuck your pyramids."

"One goldfish to his tankmate: ""If there's no God who changes the water?"""

"What's the difference between Super Man and Spider Man ? Super Man wears his underwear over his pants.."

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre."

"[talking to mcdonalds cashier] which burger has the most acai berry vitamins and superfood antioxidants?"

"What does a wolf cough up after eating a rabbit? A hare ball"

"Being early to work is a dead giveaway that I'm still asleep and having a bad dream."

"What kind of car did the German cowboy purchase? Audi *tips hat*"

"There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin."

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again"