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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: How do you hit those high notes? Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me? Adam Levine: Practice."

"Windows 10? Cool! Only 85 more versions before we come back to Windows 95"

"I bet college professors never get tired of watching freshmen get fat. I know I wouldn't."

"smokers have a greater risk of heart disease, stroke and hard-to-hear outdoor phone conversations."

"poor guy. The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries... Until I unpacked them all & said, ""That's how I want you to do it."""

"Don't be silly! A kid's name doesn't affect the type of person they become. Now come and hold my sweet baby Lucifer Charles Manson Hitler."

"What's the quickest way to kill 100 Mexicans? Blow up their car."

"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."

"Q: What goes VROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light."

"My boss calls me chief, so I really don't know who's in charge anymore. I hope it's not me because I haven't been paying attention."