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Joke of the Day

"I've got a job for Victoria... Well, *had* a job..."

"What's the best thing about AIDS? You're always positive"

"Monocles Why should you never go out drinking if you wear a monocle? Because then you'd be a barnacle."

"What do you call a cat who steals someone's identity? An impawster."

"12 Signs You Might Have Leprosy - Number 8 is jaw-dropping!"

"Cool prank: Dig up 200 earthworms. I will tell you about the rest of the prank later"

"Noun: Son of a b***h!"

"I can't understand Undertale. It doesn't make sans."

"what't the difference between a US election and a bunch of sly midgets? [NSFW] one is a bunch of cunning runts and the other is a bunch of running cunts."

"When I die, please scatter my ashes over my iPhone, computer and TV, because I want to be left to my own devices."