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Joke of the Day

"When I die, please scatter my ashes over my iPhone, computer and TV, because I want to be left to my own devices."

"Hahaha stupid person... When it says 55mph it really means 64mph.........Idiot turtle person"

"What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If you weren't so fresh we wouldn't be in this jam."

"Charlie Sheen #thinning"

"What do you give an octomom for mother's day? A spatula. Maybe she'll be more responsible making dinner than making babies."

"What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym? Diddly squat"

"My New Year's Resolution 1080p"

"Yeah, America is the so called ""land of the free"", but you try to bring a monkey on board the plane and suddenly everyone's all about rules."

"Make a customer service representative's day by ending your call with: ""Thank you...you're my only friend in this miserable world."""

"I say ""do I smell popcorn"" right after I fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath."