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Joke of the Day

"ME: I'm just gonna take a quick nap. KIDS: Check out the new cirque du soleil show we invented. *living room is on fire*"

"Definition of FACEBOOK? It's a place where Boy posts a Joke, Gets No Response....And If Girl Posts The Same Joke, She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments & 60 Friends Requests."

"A man is being arrested by a female police officer she informs him, ""Anything you say can and will be held against you."" ""Anything?"" he asks with a smirk ""Anything."" ""Tits please"""

"Knock Knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who?"

"wife: You're home early me [hugging the dog] I had to see you"

"I hate having to brush my teeth every morning. I must be the only person in the world with hairy teeth."

"What does a redneck do after she bangs her second cousin? She quits counting."

"""You go girl!! Your dance moves are on point! Why not get up on stage for some karaoke too! You're an amazing singer!"" - Vodka"

"This tag on my panties has been tickling my ass all morning, I was gonna cut it off but I'm lonely"

"And now a mediocre blonde joke: what do you call a blonde who dyes her hair Artificial intelligence"