77775

Joke of the Day

"[at my funeral] *casket falls onto the floor* Mum: that's the quickest I've ever seen him move Dad: lol owned"

"The more Twitter tells me it's over Capacity, the more I think Twitter still loves Capacity and regularly sits outside her house, weeping."

"Where did William Tell take his garbage? To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump!"

"What do you call a German paedophile hiding in the playground bushes? Kinder Surprise!"

"Two fish are in a tank... the first fish says to the second... ""You man the guns, i'll drive!"""

"Who would win in a fight...your mom or your dad? From the looks of it, your dad won"

"I know this place will prepare my taxes competently--they have a guy dressed as the Statue of Liberty waving at passersby. -no one ever"

"If you have Parkinson's disease... ...that means you stutter in sign language."

"They say Gay marriage will ruin the fabric of society... ...which is ridiculous, a gay man would never ruin fabric."

"An angry Hillary storms into Satan's office and yells ""You told me I was going to win!"" Satan looks up from the paper and says, ""Well, you told me you had a soul."""