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Joke of the Day

"Just back from that seafood disco. Pulled a mussel!"

"Don't judge if you don't know me. Unless you're making my pizza & you say ""This guy looks like he wants extra cheese"" then please do."

"Did you hear about the new Fiber One bars? Apparently nobody gives a shit."

"If you have 99 problems... ...you're a math textbook."

"What happened to the guy that was trimming some bushes and accidentally sliced off his left arm?? Well they say he's ""allRIGHT"" xD"

"Stand Up Comedy Yes, I actually did some stand up comedy, but I didn't like it... every time I would get up on stage to do my routine, all people ever did was laugh at me..."

"Drugs, is not the answer unless the question is why are you eating spaghetti with your hands."

"I'm still waiting for the day my patents will say: ""It's all fake son, we're millionaires, this was just to teach you how to be humble."

"What's the difference between a German and a Virgin? one one appreciates good head"

"What kind of letters do feminists send? Hate male."