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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide? Because it was too cold out tide."

"My son is petrified of thunder. I told him that is ridiculous, it's the lightning that will kill him."

"[finding a secret passage in my NYC-apartment that leads to a corpse-filled torture dungeon] HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THIS EXTRA SPACE I HAVE!"

"The first woman on the Moon... ""Houston, we have a problem."" ""What?"" ""Never mind."" ""What's the problem?"" ""Nothing."" ""Please tell us?"" ""You know what the problem is."""

"What is the easiest way to weigh your head? Ask assistance from ISIS."

"Why should you not let your kids go to Korean Discos? Because you don't want them hanging around Parks at night."

"What's the difference between a black joke and Mexican joke? Nothing. If you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal."

"Not everyone can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut... But then again, not everyone cuts their own hair."

"I bought my friend a new computer screen for Xmas. His New Year resolution is 1920 x 1080."

"What does a Mexican use to cut pizza with? Little Caesars!"