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Joke of the Day

"I didn't say you are fat, I just said that going out with you feels like going on a double date"

"Maybe Hitler became evil because he was mad that after so many years of lifting his hand nobody high fived him."

"What is the most successful hotel? Auschwitz, 6 million stars."

"If at first I don't succeed, I've already met my wife's expectations."

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday I'll tell you what, never again"

"What happened to the fly that sat on the toilet seat? He got pissed off."

"I've tried every drug but crack. Who you callin' buttcrack, asshole?!?!"

"A boiled egg in the morning... is hard to beat."

"Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking? Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!"

"Me: Mum was I adopted? Mum: Yes, but they gave you back"