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Joke of the Day

"I wish there was a job that required me to pet a room full of basset hounds all day long."

"Whats brown and sounds like a bell? DUUUUUuU^nnnnnnnggggg^nnnnggg^nnnggg^nnnggg"

"I was walking thru the graveyard the other morning... Saw a guy kneeling behind a headstone. I walked up to him and greeted him ""Morning!"" He replied, ""Nah, I'm just taking a shit"""

"To whoever stole my thesaurus... To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person."

"I painted my computer black in hopes that it would run faster. Now it wont work."

"Have you watched the movie about polynomials? I heard the *f(x)* were great!"

"Alcoholism joke? If a person who is addicted to alcohol is an alcoholic, the a person who is addicted to cats is a catholic?"

"Parallel lines have so much in common... Its a shame they'll never meet."

"What is the most popular soda in candy land? Lolli-pop"

"What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."