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Joke of the Day

"What did one fish say to the other during the race? I'M GOING TILAPIA!!!"

"'Knock Knock.' 'Who's there?' The pilot."

"If people are going to judge me they should at least hold up scorecards so I know how I'm doing."

"I can't believe I just stopped a girl from being rapped. I got tired and stopped chasing her."

"I'm going to combine a sex shop and a restaurant... The motto is going to be ""First come first serve""."

"What will a blind, deaf child with no arms get for Christmas? Cancer."

"What weighs 12lbs and won't be getting plucked this Christmas Scott Weilands guitar"

"What do you call a pensioner at a murder trial? A juryatric."

"Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way :("

"My boss said , ""Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."" Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my wonder woman costume"