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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend from high school called today. She's stoked about getting her driver's license."
Next Joke
"This is your captain speaking... **AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING!**"
"what's common between a puppy and a good book ? both are easy to pick up but hard to put down"
"Getting carded at the liquor store is better than getting liquored at the card store."
"Son, when I was your age there was no social media. You had to go to a bar and buy endless drinks to be ignored by multiple women."
"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away."
"*walks into door on street, looks around* Whew...no one saw me... One year later... *watching TV* *sees self on Funniest Videos*"
"god: welcome to heaven, bob. today we reunite you with your soulmate bob: karen! god: karen? your soulmate is a japanese farmer named oshi"
"What if earth rotates 30 times faster? Interviewer:""If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?"" engineer:""We will get our salary everyday"" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently"
"So Chris Brown and Rihanna are now Engaged and they have a song together called ""Ain't nobody's business."" Well, I just wrote my own song called, ""Ain't Nobody Cares!"""