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Joke of the Day

"I don't have a lot of regrets but one time I met a girl named Stephanie & prematurely called her ""Steph."""

"What's the difference between the calendar and you? A calendar has a date on Valentine's day."

"*taps on a super old dude's oxygen tank* you know that you can get this stuff for free right"

"I'm afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating."

"People come and go but birthdays do accrue."

"Movie was a real turkey! Could someone explain this joke to me it's driving me crazy! Libby: How was the movie? Brian: A real turkey. I could hardly sit through it the second time!"

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 53 times a day, you're an Instagram filter."

"I got some good tips on how to spice my roast chicken... I guess you could say it was (_) ( _)>- (_) Sage advice."

"100m Dash A girl says to her friend ""The last time I had sex was like the 100 meter dash"" Her friend says ""What, over in 6 seconds?"" ""No, with 8 black men and a gun."""

"You might be a hipster if... Friend: Did you see that <funny cat picture> on reddit's frontpage? Me: Naah, I don't subscribe to all the big, popular subreddits."