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Joke of the Day

"A chicken and an egg are lying in bed The chicken, smoking a cigarette, turns to the egg and says, ""Well, I guess we answered that question."""

"15 out of 12 beers agree I can't do math when I'm drunk."

"Apparently Mr. Neeson's ""particular set of skills"" is terrible at keeping his family from getting kidnapped."

"I spent $500 on that Harvard application, damn right I framed the rejection letter."

"[hunting] ""In order to attract the stag, I perform the special call"" [clears throat, cups hands round mouth] ""COME OVER HERE, ANTLER JERK"""

"My Wife caught me blow drying my shaft And Asked me what was i doing. Apparently heating your dinner was not the right answer"

"There's a really annoying moth in my room. It's been on my Silence of the Lambs poster for ages now."

"THE SHINING (1980): An oblivious pair of incessant chatterboxes are finally taught to respect the sanctity of a writer's space."

"If a 92 year old woman hooks up with a seventy five year old man. She's no longer considered a couger. That's a saber tooth."

"Spelling cunts. *counts."