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Joke of the Day

"A chicken and an egg are lying in bed The chicken, smoking a cigarette, turns to the egg and says, ""Well, I guess we answered that question."""

"I woke up hung-over to the sound of my neighbour mowing his lawn. He'll have to mow around me. I'm not moving."

"You know what they say about cows in the Bermuda Triangle... They moo in mysterious waves"

"Two black guys are playing a game. One of them jumps off a cliff and the other shoots himself. Who won? The government for having to pay welfare for two less people."

"I can't bend my pinky without my ring finger bending as well..is this normal? Let's hear your results 'cause I know you just tried it."

"If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many."

"Alexa, take down my Christmas decorations."

"The most toxic substances known to mankind. 1. Arsenic 2. Cyanide 3. Polonium 4. Mercury 5. The League of Legends community"

"Why did Pee-wee Herman cross the road? He was choking the chicken."

"I told my son if he doesn't step it up, I'm going to start living vicariously through someone else's kid."