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Joke of the Day

"Don't ask God to cure cancer & world poverty. He's too busy finding you a parking space & fixing the weather for your barbecue."

"What's another name for semen? (w)Hole Milk!! :D"

"Two peanuts were walking down the street.. One was a salted"

"He told me he was my daddy during sex. Then he acted all weirded out when I started crying and asked him to pay off my student loans."

"Feel free to use the ""or less"" feature of your 140 characters."

"People who have quit Reddit, how is life like now?"

"I can't wait to find out what new undeleteable apps that I don't want will be on the new iPhone."

"*wears a tuxedo tshirt to interview as a joke* McDonald's Manager: Oh wow, are you from corporate?"

"Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ? There was some money in the kitty !"

"How much is a $1,000,000 Bill worth? Nothing! You can't use it anywhere!"