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Joke of the Day

"When Granpa revealed an exit wound scar from WWII it gave me strength to show him the owie owie bruise I suffered closing a faulty pizza box"

"*rides in on giant turtle* Me:Sorry I'm late. Boss:You rode that to work? Me:No, went to the zoo. *phone rings* Me:That'll be the zoo."

"It must have been so risky for pirates to slightly burn the edges of all their treasure maps and then dip them in tea."

"I bought my friend an elephant for his room He said thanks I said don't mention it..."

"You know you're ugly when.... it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera. (add your own)"

"What's better than winning gold in the Paralympics? Legs."

"So why is the latest Windows OS called 10? Because *Windows 7 8 9!*"

"""Dad, why isn't there chocolate meatloaf?"" - my brilliant 3 year old son Patrick"

"A boy goes to the drug store to buy some condoms. 'Do you want a bag?', the cashier asks him 'No', the boy says, 'she isn't *that* ugly'"

"I've always wanted to be a plumber But it's probably just a pipe dream."