78556

Joke of the Day

"Its not a good sign when you go to take a self portrait and your camera automatically switches itself to 'panoramic'."

"What is a pirate's favorite drink? The HI-C! (punchline must be said in proper pirate voice) (this is what I do when bored at work not even ashamed)"

"If you are a woman/man looking for a funny and nice partner... Don't look in this subreddit :D (sorry)"

"OK, guy with the two kayaks and two bikes strapped to his Subaru Outback: settle down. Save some outdoors for the rest of us."

"Today is World Alzheimer's Day! Just in case you forgot."

"Did you hear about the unreleased Western starring Bruce Lee? He played Squint Eastwood."

"Scientists claim that the Big Bang was the loudest noise that has ever occured in history. They obviously haven't met my kids."

"Do you remember that creepy girl who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!"

"Why was Michelangelo banned from bukakke porn? Cuz he could never paint dat mouth right"

"Why don't Canadians have many orgies? Too many thank-you notes."