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Joke of the Day

"Chris Rea came to my garden centre today... ...he bought a driving gnome for Christmas."

"Why i'm leaving r/Jokes... I have to go to the store, but I'll be back in an hour..."

"Which nation doesn't do what it's supposed to do until it's too late? Procrastination!"

"I needed to burn some calories... so I set a fat kid on fire"

"Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm... He tells the bartender ""let me have a drink...and one for the road."""

"I think i am allergic to leather. Every time i wake up with my shoes on, i have a huge headache."

"I'm no scientist, but I don't think it's possible for EVERYBODY to be kung fu fighting."

"[jungle book] bagheera: ""you can't fight him like a wolf, you're NOT a wolf, fight him like a man"" mowgli: [writes a strongly worded e-mail]"

"Congratulations r/jokes on being the most eco-friendly subreddit! 95% of your material is recycled! (Love you guys <3 )"

"How do you make a dead baby float? 1 cup of milk 2 scoops of dead baby."