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Joke of the Day

"what do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! :D"

"My friends keep telling me I'm too indecisive And I'm not sure how I feel about it."

"It's so cold out today in Wisconsin I just saw a snowman kill another snowman and crawl inside his body cavity"

"Did you hear about the guy that could not afford personalized license plates? He changed his name to JLU 635."

"If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car... Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!"

"Why did Will die? Because the commanding officer told his soldiers: ""Fire at will"""

"I tried anal for the first time last night and I hated it... Fuck that shit"

"NSFW What's the difference between foreplay and KFC? Once you're finished with the breasts and thighs, you're left with a greasy box to put your bone in."

"I'm going to hell. Q: whats the hardest part about cooking a vegetable A: getting the wheelchair into the oven edit: formating"

"If I died and went directly to hell it would take me a month to realize I wasn't at work."