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Joke of the Day
"Instead of Kanye learning anybody else's name, I bet he calls everyone Not Kanye."
Next Joke
"As if being a surgeon wasn't enough you're a general too?"
"Pal - ""Can you help me put this IKEA desk together?"" Me - ""I'll need a screwdriver."" Pal - ""Sure what type?"" Me - ""Greygoose or Kettle One."""
"I was asked if I preferred legs or breasts... I said a shaved vagina is better, But apparently that wasn't really appropriate in KFC."
"Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time."
"Using my toes to pick something up makes it hard to go to church on Sunday."
"jesus could get on twitter and be like ""fear not, child. i know for a fact that your going to heaven!"" and someone would be like ""you're""."
"""These orthodontic shoes are really great!"" - don't you mean *orthopedic*? ""I stand corrected."""
"A ghost walks into a bar... For the boos"
"There's two things I hate in this world 1) People who can't count"