171198

Joke of the Day

"There's two things I hate in this world 1) People who can't count"

"My girlfriend just emailed me a photo of us on our first date together. It's a very treasured memory for me. Problem is, the file wont open on my computer. I guess I have emotional attachment issues."

"Maybe stop asking 20yo beauty queens how to solve problems the government hasn't even been able to figure out in 200 years?"

"Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go fuck yourself."

"I've had an awful year. I lost my job, broke my leg and my wife's run off with my best friend... I do miss him."

"My pet butterfly got a tattoo of my lower back"

"I was thinking of dressing has Nan form American Horror story : Coven But the thought of it brought me 'down'"

"Tell me a joke I've never heard before. Original jokes warmly welcomed!"

"There's no ""i"" in ""team"" but there are like millions of other words with ""i"" in them so what's the big deal about ""team"" anyway?"

"Magic A magician is driving down a road and turns into a driveway."